A Bitter Pill to Swallow (4/6)
Nov. 4th, 2006 03:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
moonlite_trystTitle: A Bitter Pill to Swallow (4/6)
Author: Me!
Pairing: H/D
Rating: NC-17 over all
Genre: Angst
Disclaimer: No ownership, no money
Word count: 1443
Beta: not yet
Summary: Harry is a leader, hero, loyal friend and lover. Harry is also exceedingly jealous of Draco, which has consequences for everyone.
Upon reaching the doorway, Draco crouched and ran, ducking and weaving his way through the chaos of falling timbers and debris in the remaining rooms that separated him from his goal. He was thankful that the noise of the advancing fire smothered his now continuous coughing, hiding his position in the base from the others.
Eventually the roar of the fire and shouts of the Death Eaters in the main part of the building receded as Draco moved further away, shutting and locking the doors of each room he travelled through to delay both the fire and any members of the search party. The fact that they were still looking told Draco that Harry was still alive, or at least undiscovered.
Peering through the gap of a partially open door, Draco could see that this part of the base was relatively unscathed. He gripped his wand tightly, cautiously opened the door and stepped into the rear lobby – an area that contained several small storerooms for food and equipment. It appeared that no one else was present, so he closed the door. The dichotomy between the cooler air and sudden stillness and the inferno he had just travelled through jarred his senses.
It took a moment for Draco to collect himself, then he pulled off the cloth around his face and leaned back against the door, panting. His heart hammered in his tight chest and it hurt to breathe in as deeply as his oxygen starved lungs wanted him to. The adrenalin surge that had helped him through the fire abated, leaving him shaking from head to foot. Draco pressed his back even further into to the wooden door for support but his shaking knees gave way and he slowly slid to the ground, dropping his wand in his lap. With trembling fingers he rubbed his stinging eyes, hoping the smoke induced tears would finally wash away some of the soot and grit.
He had no tears left for Harry; they had long since dried up.
It almost seemed like poetic justice, Draco mused, that his love affair with Harry had had both its inauspicious beginning and unexpected acrimonious ending here at the base. Once again the memory of their final moments together played over in his mind, unbidden.
~*~
Harry turned to leave the Apparition chamber but Draco’s hand shot out and held his arm in an iron grip, stilling him. He drew Harry toward him, feeling him tremble under his finger tips. Anger, cold and hard filled Draco and mixed with the raw hurt from Harry’s harsh words, coalescing into a pain that would ultimately fester into something much more dark and dangerous.
Well, two can play at that game.
"Oh no you don't, Harry. You don't get away with it that easily. You stand there full of self righteous indignation and hurt feelings, but what about me? You talk of images but you've never asked what it was like for me, doing your dirty work for you. You didn’t want to know. Don't you want to know what it was really like for me, Harry?"
Harry shivered as Draco's lips moved against his ear, his hot breath and close proximity momentarily stirring feelings Harry tried to bury deep within himself. "Shall I give you a blow by blow account so you have all the facts to fuel your jealous fantasies during the long empty nights, hmmm? I think I shall."
Harry turned to face Draco, not wanting to hear the events of that night with Floribunda Hemp, but the look of fury on Draco's face froze his protestations in his throat. He nodded once and Draco took a step back, letting go of Harry's arm. Harry watched Draco take a deep breath, as if to steel himself against what he was about to reveal, and when he finally spoke, it was not with vehemence, but with the quiet voice of shame.
"It was our third meeting, if you recall, to finally negotiate a mutually beneficial deal. She'd arrived at our rendezvous point in an outfit I initially thought a little garish for the occasion, looking like mutton dressed as lamb." Draco paused and shuddered.
"She looked me in the eye and asked if I was sure I could afford the price. I remember laughing at her as I handed her a glass of wine, believing that she was talking about Galleons, secure in the knowledge that I could agree to any price tag because I had your Gringotts account to drain.
“I genuinely thought she would retrieve those plans from Rookwood and hand them over for a small fortune, enough to get herself abroad, to safety and the lifestyle she had obviously become accustomed to. Nothing could've prepared me for what she said next.”
Draco looked at the floor. "She wanted me, Harry. That was her price. One night with me – no negotiation." Draco looked up, directly at Harry, visibly struggling for control. "She'd always had a thing for my father, apparently, but he had rebuffed her advances. Very noble of him, don't you think?" Harry felt some form of response was required, and nodded mutely. "Anyway, she said she wasn't into necrophilia, but she still wanted her pound of Malfoy flesh, and that she was going to have me one day if I wanted those plans." Draco snorted and shook his head in disbelief, "She actually asked if that was okay with me. I told her to go to hell and left."
Draco stared at Harry and he felt himself pinned to the spot by the anguish in his eyes. "For two weeks I listened to the growing list of fatalities, to futile late night planning sessions and your increasing desperation as Voldemort's forces gained more ground. I told you I knew of a way to get the information that was vital to ensure our survival and weaken Voldemort's lead. I said the cost could be high for us. That things could change between us and…"
"And I said..." Harry cut in, "I said that whatever it was, it was a price I was prepared to pay to save lives. The needs of the many outweighed the needs of the few. I swore that nothing and nobody would come between us.”
Draco nodded slowly, "But you were wrong, Harry, were you not? So very wrong. Do you have any idea what it was like to go back to her? To submit to her desires?"
If Harry was honest with himself, he didn't have any idea. When he'd been informed, anonymously of course, of the price Draco had paid, he had initially buried his questions deep in the furthest recesses of his mind, to enable himself to concentrate on turning the tide against Voldemort and his followers. After that... it was too late. The green eyed demon held him completely in its thrall, and rational thought had long since departed.
Harry couldn't stop the grimace that crossed his face before Draco saw it. He spoke again, his voice low with barely controlled anger, "Do you think I enjoyed it, having that aged tart run her hands all over me? Touching me in places only you have, putting her mouth on places only you have?" Draco closed the distance between them and gripped both of Harry's arms. For a moment Harry thought he was going to kiss him, their faces were so close.
"Fuck, Harry, you have no idea how revolting it was to have to take her sagging breasts in my hands and caress them, kiss them," Draco's voice lowered so that Harry had to lean in a little closer to hear him, “suck them.”
To the outside world they would've looked like lovers embracing. "I can still feel her sticky heat grinding remorselessly into my face just as though she were here, now, clamping her thighs around my head. She's all around me, Harry: on my tongue, up my nose, in my hair. I can't get rid of the smell or taste of her."
Draco pushed Harry away with force. "I did it for you. For all of you. And this is how you repay me. You've broken your promise and thrown my trust in you back in my face." Harry opened his mouth to speak, but Draco shook his head. "No, Harry! You will hear me out this time. I gave everything up for you: my family, my home, my friends, my life - everything, because I believed in you. Because I loved you. And you think you can just walk away with a mumbled ‘It's over'? I paid dearly for that information. You'll pay too, one day."
~*~
part Five
Author: Me!
Pairing: H/D
Rating: NC-17 over all
Genre: Angst
Disclaimer: No ownership, no money
Word count: 1443
Beta: not yet
Summary: Harry is a leader, hero, loyal friend and lover. Harry is also exceedingly jealous of Draco, which has consequences for everyone.
Upon reaching the doorway, Draco crouched and ran, ducking and weaving his way through the chaos of falling timbers and debris in the remaining rooms that separated him from his goal. He was thankful that the noise of the advancing fire smothered his now continuous coughing, hiding his position in the base from the others.
Eventually the roar of the fire and shouts of the Death Eaters in the main part of the building receded as Draco moved further away, shutting and locking the doors of each room he travelled through to delay both the fire and any members of the search party. The fact that they were still looking told Draco that Harry was still alive, or at least undiscovered.
Peering through the gap of a partially open door, Draco could see that this part of the base was relatively unscathed. He gripped his wand tightly, cautiously opened the door and stepped into the rear lobby – an area that contained several small storerooms for food and equipment. It appeared that no one else was present, so he closed the door. The dichotomy between the cooler air and sudden stillness and the inferno he had just travelled through jarred his senses.
It took a moment for Draco to collect himself, then he pulled off the cloth around his face and leaned back against the door, panting. His heart hammered in his tight chest and it hurt to breathe in as deeply as his oxygen starved lungs wanted him to. The adrenalin surge that had helped him through the fire abated, leaving him shaking from head to foot. Draco pressed his back even further into to the wooden door for support but his shaking knees gave way and he slowly slid to the ground, dropping his wand in his lap. With trembling fingers he rubbed his stinging eyes, hoping the smoke induced tears would finally wash away some of the soot and grit.
He had no tears left for Harry; they had long since dried up.
It almost seemed like poetic justice, Draco mused, that his love affair with Harry had had both its inauspicious beginning and unexpected acrimonious ending here at the base. Once again the memory of their final moments together played over in his mind, unbidden.
~*~
Harry turned to leave the Apparition chamber but Draco’s hand shot out and held his arm in an iron grip, stilling him. He drew Harry toward him, feeling him tremble under his finger tips. Anger, cold and hard filled Draco and mixed with the raw hurt from Harry’s harsh words, coalescing into a pain that would ultimately fester into something much more dark and dangerous.
Well, two can play at that game.
"Oh no you don't, Harry. You don't get away with it that easily. You stand there full of self righteous indignation and hurt feelings, but what about me? You talk of images but you've never asked what it was like for me, doing your dirty work for you. You didn’t want to know. Don't you want to know what it was really like for me, Harry?"
Harry shivered as Draco's lips moved against his ear, his hot breath and close proximity momentarily stirring feelings Harry tried to bury deep within himself. "Shall I give you a blow by blow account so you have all the facts to fuel your jealous fantasies during the long empty nights, hmmm? I think I shall."
Harry turned to face Draco, not wanting to hear the events of that night with Floribunda Hemp, but the look of fury on Draco's face froze his protestations in his throat. He nodded once and Draco took a step back, letting go of Harry's arm. Harry watched Draco take a deep breath, as if to steel himself against what he was about to reveal, and when he finally spoke, it was not with vehemence, but with the quiet voice of shame.
"It was our third meeting, if you recall, to finally negotiate a mutually beneficial deal. She'd arrived at our rendezvous point in an outfit I initially thought a little garish for the occasion, looking like mutton dressed as lamb." Draco paused and shuddered.
"She looked me in the eye and asked if I was sure I could afford the price. I remember laughing at her as I handed her a glass of wine, believing that she was talking about Galleons, secure in the knowledge that I could agree to any price tag because I had your Gringotts account to drain.
“I genuinely thought she would retrieve those plans from Rookwood and hand them over for a small fortune, enough to get herself abroad, to safety and the lifestyle she had obviously become accustomed to. Nothing could've prepared me for what she said next.”
Draco looked at the floor. "She wanted me, Harry. That was her price. One night with me – no negotiation." Draco looked up, directly at Harry, visibly struggling for control. "She'd always had a thing for my father, apparently, but he had rebuffed her advances. Very noble of him, don't you think?" Harry felt some form of response was required, and nodded mutely. "Anyway, she said she wasn't into necrophilia, but she still wanted her pound of Malfoy flesh, and that she was going to have me one day if I wanted those plans." Draco snorted and shook his head in disbelief, "She actually asked if that was okay with me. I told her to go to hell and left."
Draco stared at Harry and he felt himself pinned to the spot by the anguish in his eyes. "For two weeks I listened to the growing list of fatalities, to futile late night planning sessions and your increasing desperation as Voldemort's forces gained more ground. I told you I knew of a way to get the information that was vital to ensure our survival and weaken Voldemort's lead. I said the cost could be high for us. That things could change between us and…"
"And I said..." Harry cut in, "I said that whatever it was, it was a price I was prepared to pay to save lives. The needs of the many outweighed the needs of the few. I swore that nothing and nobody would come between us.”
Draco nodded slowly, "But you were wrong, Harry, were you not? So very wrong. Do you have any idea what it was like to go back to her? To submit to her desires?"
If Harry was honest with himself, he didn't have any idea. When he'd been informed, anonymously of course, of the price Draco had paid, he had initially buried his questions deep in the furthest recesses of his mind, to enable himself to concentrate on turning the tide against Voldemort and his followers. After that... it was too late. The green eyed demon held him completely in its thrall, and rational thought had long since departed.
Harry couldn't stop the grimace that crossed his face before Draco saw it. He spoke again, his voice low with barely controlled anger, "Do you think I enjoyed it, having that aged tart run her hands all over me? Touching me in places only you have, putting her mouth on places only you have?" Draco closed the distance between them and gripped both of Harry's arms. For a moment Harry thought he was going to kiss him, their faces were so close.
"Fuck, Harry, you have no idea how revolting it was to have to take her sagging breasts in my hands and caress them, kiss them," Draco's voice lowered so that Harry had to lean in a little closer to hear him, “suck them.”
To the outside world they would've looked like lovers embracing. "I can still feel her sticky heat grinding remorselessly into my face just as though she were here, now, clamping her thighs around my head. She's all around me, Harry: on my tongue, up my nose, in my hair. I can't get rid of the smell or taste of her."
Draco pushed Harry away with force. "I did it for you. For all of you. And this is how you repay me. You've broken your promise and thrown my trust in you back in my face." Harry opened his mouth to speak, but Draco shook his head. "No, Harry! You will hear me out this time. I gave everything up for you: my family, my home, my friends, my life - everything, because I believed in you. Because I loved you. And you think you can just walk away with a mumbled ‘It's over'? I paid dearly for that information. You'll pay too, one day."
~*~
part Five
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-11-04 04:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-05 01:25 am (UTC)changed his mind about his lover
Hindsight is a wonderful thing. Unfortunately his decision to let Draco procure the plans caused so much pain.
no subject
Date: 2006-11-04 07:03 pm (UTC)“Harry, listen to me.”
Harry wished Hermione would shut up. How typical that she would be just as annoying in his dream as she could be in life. Still, if he didn’t attempt to answer her, she’d go on and on. “…’m listening.”
“Your dying, Harry. Do you understand?”
“Uh huh.”
“You must wake up now, Harry, or you’ll never see Draco again. The fumes are killing you.”
Good lord, woman! That nearly did me in! Close to tears I was. I love this angsty fic! I can't wait to see how it ends!
no subject
Date: 2006-11-05 01:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-04 08:31 pm (UTC)And I want a fluffy ending!!! Wail!!! Of course things will never be the same between the two, but eventually, I hope, trust returns. On both sides. Ah, I love a fic when I have to clutch my heart…
Your beautiful words really shook me…
no subject
Date: 2006-11-05 01:30 am (UTC)*Blushes* I was beginning to think that I was being to meldramatic and almost deleted whole chunks of the fic. You're right that things will never be the same, but I cannot reveal why until tomorrow.
no subject
Date: 2006-11-05 02:07 am (UTC)Tomorrow? But, it is tomorrow... *taps fingers*
*grins*
no subject
Date: 2006-11-05 02:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-05 05:44 pm (UTC)*giggle*
I like it. I just read 1-4 and am totally wowed. I can't wait to see how you finish it off. Great job.
no subject
Date: 2006-11-05 11:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-05 08:04 pm (UTC)lovely written hun...post next one sooooooooooon!!! please..
no subject
Date: 2006-11-05 11:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-05 10:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-05 11:57 pm (UTC)I've been so close to deleting whole portions of this because I thought it was getting too melodramatic. Your lovely comment makes me glad I didn't now.
no subject
Date: 2006-11-06 09:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-06 06:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-06 03:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-06 06:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-06 01:33 pm (UTC)*snuggles*
no subject
Date: 2006-11-06 06:24 pm (UTC)Boo for being off sick. I hope it's nothing too awful. *cuddles*
The answers to both your questions will be revealed later tonight - much later, as in 11pm or even 12 midnight.
no subject
Date: 2006-11-11 06:26 pm (UTC)ps Floribunda Hemp told Harry. Spiteful minx!
no subject
Date: 2006-11-11 12:51 pm (UTC)I think Harry's in trouble. *fans self* But angry Draco is hot!
Great chapter!
no subject
Date: 2006-11-11 06:23 pm (UTC)Oh Harry! What have you done? *shakes head*
no subject
Date: 2007-03-07 04:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-07 08:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-09 06:18 am (UTC)