Hmmmmm. To stretch or not to stretch.

[moonlite_tryst]

In most NC-17 slash fics I have read (that are not non-con) there is usually an element of preparation in the form of stretching the anus by hand or by spell, before the fucking begins.

After having watched 42 hours of QAF (US series 1 and 2) I have yet to see anything resembling that taking place, and I don't mean close shots of Brian with his fingers up Justin's arse. All fucking on the show (so far seen) consists of some fore play - kissing, sucking of nipples or cock, then condom on and straight in. Lube rarely puts in an appearance.

I can't help but wonder how painful it is to be penetrated without prior preparation.

Comments

[piratesmile331.livejournal.com]

It's definitely painful without lube and stretching.
And lovely with both.

[moonlite-tryst.livejournal.com]

I have no experience of this so I was curious.

[moonflower-rose.livejournal.com]

I actually havent found it to be so bad withut prep. I was told once that it must be because my natural girly lube was taking care of things, but to be honest, I've been bent over with little warning and fucked directly in the arse, and it was great!

[moonlite-tryst.livejournal.com]

Without sounding totally naiive (I hope), do you get 'natural girly lube' in the anus? *appropriate icon btw*

[moonflower-rose.livejournal.com]

lol - nope. Not a hint of it.

But, I suppose it could be argued that I just like it a bit rough? And I'm not usually tense about it at all - that certainly helps. Just being relaxed makes a world of difference.

I do find I ache, but...I like the ache. lol.

[rubytuesday5681]

alright, surely this is TMI, but i will tell you what has worked for me in the past. as far as natural lube goes. if you're all excited to begin with and your pussy is sopping wet, it's not hard for a guy to take some of the lube from the front and put it in the back, if you know what i mean. and it works just as well, if not better than store-bought lube.

[coffeejunkii.livejournal.com]

first of all, i'm trying to imagine this post as watercooler conversation at the office ["so, i've been watching this show and was wondering..."] and it totally made me smile. because isn't this kind of question fannish watercooler conversation? i think it is, but it might not be something you'd bring up in rl.

anyway! that's something that caught my eye while watching qaf as well. i think that the opinions on this matter are divided, actually, and some people will defend either position rather vehemently. i might have a post relating to this in my memories. *goes to look*

[coffeejunkii.livejournal.com]

ah yes, emma posted on this matter once, here.

[moonlite-tryst.livejournal.com]

I know The Minotaur talks of prep on his gay sex tips blog, but he does not advocate scissoring - says it tears the tissue.

[auntbijou.livejournal.com]

Um... in a word... very painful, unless you are just so...forget that. It ain't pretty. Being stretched, or rimmed, and lubed (and spit just doesn't really do it, you know? I don't know why folks keep saying it's great in fics, because the reality is sadly lacking) is de rigeur. That is, if one is planning to ENJOY the experience. If you want your partner to scream, cry, complain, bleed, and flail while either cussing you out or begging for someone, anyone, to kill them and put them out of their misery, the forgo the preparation.

What you see in QaF is very closely related to a phenomenon seen in animated features that I like to call "Cartoon Physics." Cartoon Physics has very little relation to Real Physics. I mean, we know that in the real world, if a plane that is plummeting toward the earth runs out of fuel during the process, it won't stop just shy of the ground. However, in Cartoon Physics, that's a very common occurrence. This also applies to TV series and movies. Especially as regards to sex. (that or it proves that even gay men have no idea what foreplay is!)

[moonlite-tryst.livejournal.com]

My friend certainly didn't enjoy it. She passed out, apparently. QAF is the most realistic gay sex I've ever seen on TV so I was surprised in one scene, after Justin's attack, that Brian had attempted entry with no prep. I have yet to pluck up the courage to hire gay porn.

[rubytuesday5681]

excellent question, one that i have always wondered about myself.
well, all i can tell you is what i know from my own limited experience. lube is always a good thing. i've never done it without lube. as far as stretching goes, the thing is how often you do it. when i've been in situations where it was a regular thing, the stretching was not as important because the muscles there do start to loosen a bit and stay a little stretched. but if it's been a while, it'll start to tighten up again and the stretching again becomes important.
as far as QAF goes, we do see an appearance of lube the first time and then again after brian's cancer. the first time was clearly to make the experience less painful for justin and remember there was rimming beforehand then too. so justin had to be pretty prepared at that point. and after the cancer, i think the lube might have been more to help brian. what i tell myself is that justin and brian fuck like bunnies, so maybe justin just tends to remain in a perpetual state of having loose anal muscles (as disgusting as that sounds to me) and therefore does not need lube or extra preparation.
but i have always wondered about the one time that we see justin top brian. no preparation or lube there either. and we know that brian doesn't bottom often, i'd think that he might need a little extra tlc before being penetrated.

[rubytuesday5681]

uh-oh. have you not seen season 4 at all yet? because i think i just spoiled part of it for you. i sincerely apologize. :(

[moonlite-tryst.livejournal.com]

Brian and Justin fuck like bunnies, so maybe Justin just tends to be in a perpetual state of having loose anal muscles

That's something I hadn't thought about. If that were the case wouldn't it cause him problems with other bodily functions? No need to answer because it was a gross question.

[sesptwd.livejournal.com]

Lube is a MUST. In my opinion. And I'm talking about for the top and the bottom. (and, yes, I speak from experience)

[auntbijou.livejournal.com]

Amen to that!! (how ya doin' hon? sends you a hug)

[moonlite-tryst.livejournal.com]

I won't ask about your favourite type of lube. No I won't. *G*

[snottygrrl.livejournal.com]

i have no personal experience with this (and never will on the receiving end anyway, since i no longer have an anus due to my lack of colon. sorry tmi), but from converssation and gay porn, i'd say it depends. i'll bet your friend was nervous and tensed, and then tensed more and then freaked out and blacked out. whereas someone up there (moonflower?) is much more relaxed about the whole thing and even happy with a little ache.

the body and mind are amazing things and we can handle or not handle different things at different times.

watching the hunter/damon video again last night for research on upcoming fic. i noted two things. damon prepared himself rather rapidly before actual penetration. both he and hunter seemed to have somewhat more open and relaxed anus' while they were going at it.

i too wonder about regularly loosening that part of the body and certain functions, but as noted before, our bodies tend to be amazingly adaptable.

as to qaf, i'd guess they are saving screen time, because prep isn't v. interesting in viewing form, much more interesting to read about.

zomg. this was longer than intended.

[moonlite-tryst.livejournal.com]

for research on upcoming fic

Oh yes? *eyes you*

I've seen some awful soft core porn on Sky, but I've yet to get my hands on anything hardcore. I didn't fancy the Hunter/Damon video because I wasn't that fussed about them. Now the lovely Luca *points to icon* is a different matter. I know where to order the various films he's done from, but there's the issue of importing hardcore porn. Sam and I were both sweating when I was waiting for the box of QAF discs incase Customs and Excise opened the box.

The reason I thought about other bodily functions is that the inability to control that area of the body is one of the signs of child abuse we have to be aware of.

[drusillas-rain.livejournal.com]

Pretty much what everyone else said. If the person is even remotely nervous, then much more prep will be needed. Also, different people enjoy anal in different degrees. I think that because mostly females write slash, it's something that most of us have latched onto. I know that with myself, I've actually enjoyed anal a lot more (tmi) with a lot of stretching. But I know others, who barely need any stretching. On the other hand, I know one girl who will never ever have anal becase it just won't work.

And yes, I have a lot of discussions about sex and anal with one group of friends. It's basically all we talk about.

[moonlite-tryst.livejournal.com]

it's basically all we talk about

I see. *G* That's another thing - god, I'm on a roll now. I know fics are often the ideal, but knowing how emotionally stunted men - in particular teenage boys, can be, it always grates slightly when 16 - 18 year old Harry and Draco can be so articulate about what they want. Tell me what you want Lusi - I would've been scarlet with embarrassment.

[earth-magic.livejournal.com]

Interesting read *grins* I haven't seen QAF the US series so can't comment, but I DID notice that in Line of Beauty lube was used. The lead character takes out a small tube which looked like a little tube of toothpaste. I am quite sure that half the viewing audience had NO idea what it was for.

As for the stretching and prep in stories ... hmmm ... I must admit that I find it all a bit boring now and often skip over the whole "one finger ... two fingers ... scissor ... three fingers ..." and I've never liked the lube spell thing.

[moonlite-tryst.livejournal.com]

I can remember watching the part where they shag in those private gardens and thinking 'Oh, so it is possible to fuck, and wank the other person off at the same time.' *G*

I'll bring QAF series 1 with me on Friday, see how you like it before I pass on the rest.

I am guilty of using the prep spell to get past the one finger ... two fingers ... scissor ... three fingers part more quickly.

[flamewarrior.livejournal.com]

IME (from memory), it depends mostly on my mood and how turned on I am. Just a bit of spit has been enough on some occasions, on others copious lube and a few days of fingering in the lead up has been necessary (that's a bit of fingering every day, not a fingering that lasted a few days!). Also, rimming is amazing, and really relaxes everything below the waist. I don't know how people stay standing in all those fics!

[moonlite-tryst.livejournal.com]

rimming is amazing

I'm going to sound such a prude, but that doesn't appeal to me at all. I don't like reading it in fic either, but worshiping the cock is a totally different manner. *shrugs*

ps You'll know me at Sectus - I'm the one with the bright red face after this conversation. *G*